Sign No. 6 - Always a Pleasure Doing Business Here

By far, this is one of the few signs that made me widen my eyes and start giggling uncontrollably. And I mean, uncontrollably.

For a start, let's get our minds out of the gutter and look at the name of the company shall we? It's Balfurd Cleaners.

Now read the sign again with this in mind.

Okay. Now with that settled, let's look at the sentence structure. It says "Drop your pants here and you will receive prompt attention." I think what the shop owners really meant is that you (the customers) can leave your pants at the shop and thereby receive prompt attention.

It really does not mean that you have to literally drop your pants around your ankles. Let's NOT go there.

So the imperative "drop" has been used inappropriately. "Leave" would be a better choice of word. At the same time, the sentence would still carry a double meaning. So the second half of the sentence should be dropped altogether.

Something like... "Your pants are in good hands" should do the trick eh?

Picture taken from: http://www.bblmedia.com/funny_signs_and_pictures.html

Sign No. 5 - Fried Chicken for Sale!

In Singapore, we have a wide variety of fast food chains. There's KFC, Macs, Long John Silver's and Burger King as well as Carl's Jr, just to name a few.

Honestly. Diesel Fried Chicken? Does it mean the chicken is fried in diesel? And therefore extra greasy? Sounds quite gross to me, come to think of it.

Alright. Let's analyse this.

Diesel Fried Chicken is a noun phrase and the head noun is "chicken". Therefore Diesel and Fried are premodifiers because it comes before the head noun and describes the chicken.

Because the word 'fried' is an adjective, we can safely establish that this particular place is like a fast food joint and sells fried chicken. All of us can understand that.

Now, how about the word 'diesel'?

If 'diesel' and 'fried' had a hyphen in-between, as in 'diesel-fried', then it carries the meaning that the chicken is, indeed, fried in diesel.

However, in this case, I'm guessing 'diesel' is a noun that modifies the head noun because it really stands for a brand name. Like Do & Me's Fried Chicken or Popeyes' Fried Chicken.

Get it? So while this sign is not grammatically incorrect, it is not entirely accurate either. It would have been clearer if Diesel was Diesel's.

Picture taken from: http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/pictures/picture_road_signs.htm

Sign No. 4 - Exchange Anyone?

I gather that this particular place is really a shop that sells toys for toddlers. Something much rather like Toys 'R' Us or Kiddy Palace.

But wishing to differentiate itself from its competitors, I think the store attempted to take on a sleek-sounding name. Like... I don't know... American Express or... Armani Exchange.

Sounds pretty similar, doesn't it?

But it's really remarkable that a single punctuation mark that has been (accidentally, I hope) left out gives a whole new meaning to the store name.

I fervently hope that the store's name is really "KIDS' EXCHANGE" and not a place where parents can send their child to alter their child's... er... organs.

Imagine if such a thing could happen. Sending your child for a (God forbid) for a sex change.

I can almost imagine parents seeing this place as an opportunity to have the girl they have always wanted.
Wife 1: (sighing) "That's it. I'm bored of having all boys. Honey, can I change one to a cute, little girl instead? The store's not far from here, you know."

Or use this to keep their naughty kids in check.
Wife 2: (angrily) "Johnny, stop throwing your tantrum right this instant! Or Mummy will send you to that store down the street!"
Johnny: (frightnened) "NO MUMMY! I promise I be a good boy. Johnny don't wanna be a girl."

Picture taken from: http://www.reallyfunnypictures.co.uk/funnysigns/pic57.php

Sign No. 3 - Look Behind You

I will always remember this sign because it never fails to remind me of one of my English lessons I had back in Primary 6.

One of my classmates wrote this sentence for an essay: "I heard a noise and I quickly turned to look at my behind."

When my teacher read it to the class, he asked, "Why XYZ? Did the character in your story pass gas?". All of us laughed, including him, till our jaws ached.

It was an important lesson for all of us, nonetheless. Direct translation from mother tongue = bad grammar.

It does not take a rocket scientist to pick up on the meaning of the sign. It means that if you wish to visit the restrooms, you have just walked past it. The restrooms are behind you.

However in this particular sentence structure, the "behind" could have easily meant your backside, your buttocks, your tush... you get the idea.

It could have easily read: "For restrooms, turn back or turn around."

Picture taken from: http://www.funny-games.biz/pictures/1111-restroom-signage.html

Sign No. 2 - Not-for-Value Shop

Let's analyse the first sentence, shall we? Hmmm... Seems clear enough to me that if you're looking to shop and save, this is NOT the store to patron. However, the more appropriate preposition to use would be "below" instead of "under".

So, in other words, the cheapest product one can expect to find is definitely above the price of $5.00.

The tone is a tad aggressive but fair enough. I didn't think I saw the "Value Shop" sign anywhere near this picture. Otherwise, it would have proudly declared,"Nothing ABOVE $5.00".

Second sentence. Tsk tsk tsk. What else can I say? It really is two bad they didn't get that wright. Otherwise, it's a grate sign. Short and sweet.

Better luck next time, pals. Or whoever put up this sign. Wait, should I say... TOO bad.

Picture taken from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ifindkarma/199878889

Sign No. 1 - IKEA

One would have thought that the whole point of advertising is to attract more buyers for IKEA products. However, when ungrammatical sentences get in the way (see left), the opposite effect is achieved.

The sign is saying that even BEFORE I get to buy the chair, it would have been used for 10 years.

What? I shop at IKEA to look for antique chairs?

If one reads the sign carefully (assuming the customer is still interested in buying the chair after reading the title), what it is really saying is that the chair has been simulated to withstand 10 years of use.

Rectifiying the headline would still not help in explaining the intended meaning.

So how about... "Thinking of buying this chair? GUARANTEED TO LAST FOR 10 YEARS!". Short and simple eh?

Picture taken from: http://www.jinxiboo.com/blog/2009/4/17/ungrammatical-signs-product-packaging.html